Rails from the Rails 13 – Will Boys Be Boys? (as seen here)
All Aboard: "Some parents say it is toy gus that make boys warlike. But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and shout "Bang!" - George F. Will (American editor and news commentator b.1941)
Tickets Please: As mentioned in my last Rails from the Rails, on a recent train trip to
I nearly passed on the magazine as it had as its cover a large picture of one
The article is an interview in which the writer, Kate Fillion, asks questions of child development expert Leonard Sax. It is a fairly long interview and I will attempt to share with you some of the more interesting points as well as give you my take on them.
Sax suggests that there is a problem with how boys are performing in school. Whether this is accurate or not is debatable. I think it is true. One of the causes he proposes for this is interesting. He suggests part of the problem is that in early childhood education there has been acceleration in the onset of instructional curriculum. When I was a kid, kindergarten was mostly crafts and games and stories and songs. Now they are learning reading, writing, and arithmetic. I am no child education expert, but I would prefer it if my children were doing kindergarten the old way. I can see where competing in the new global marketplace might require earlier education, but to me it is less than ideal.
Sax goes on to talk about how boys, generally speaking, are less ready for school at earlier ages than girls are. My experience would leave me with the same conclusion. Generally speaking, my daughters and nieces have appeared more ready for school and learning at an early age then my son and nephews. There isn’t any concrete science there, just my observations. My son is not interested in learning about colours. Not until I relate it to the colour of superhero’s costumes, that is. I will ask him the colour of a pickle and he will either guess wrong or respond “I don’t know.” But if I tell him the pickle is the same colour as The Hulk he quickly tells me it must be green. Words and reading do not get him really excited either. He’d rather wrestle or have a pillow fight. Fair enough, that is a type of learning too.
Sax is also a strong advocate for single-sex education. He makes some strong points in favour of boys and girls being more successful in same-gender classrooms. I have heard this before. I was surprised to read that he believes that it is also beneficial socially and emotionally for children. Again, I am no expert but I like the idea. If there was the opportunity for my children to go to school and participate in single-sex education I would try it. I am much more satisfied with my girls playing in girls-only sports leagues. And it seems to me that most of their problems at school with other students involve boys.
Perhaps the most controversial aspect of the interview can be summed up in the following quote by Sax: “Prohibiting children from playing with toy swords and guns does not decrease the likelihood of any bad outcome. It accomplishes no useful end.” He goes on to refer to zero-tolerance policies in schools as zero-intelligence policies. Strong words! For what it is worth, I tend to concur with his line of thinking. I would love for all of you to be able to watch the children and teachers’ faces when I talk at schools. One of the things I mention to them is that I get paid to hit people (break it down people, that is what I do). The children’s faces beam. Many of the teachers scowl. I go on to explain that there is an appropriate time and place for me to hit people; on the field. I go on to explain that in other places it is entirely inappropriate. I feel strongly about this. I do not think it is helpful to suggest to young boys that rough play is wrong. I do however believe it is my responsibility to teach my son the appropriate times and venues for such behaviour. He knows that play fighting with dad, his uncles, or his cousins is almost always fair game. He also knows he better not hit his sisters, aunts, or his mother, or any stranger for that matter, unless they encourage it in a playful manner. And guess what? He is very good at discerning the proper time and place to roughhouse. And that is what life is like. I want him to be able to check other boys on the hockey ice and have fun doing it. But also understand that bullying other kids in the schoolyard is unacceptable.
At any rate, it was an interesting article and as the father of a boy and the uncle to several nephews I can always benefit from such information. And I think this particular expert is on to something.
I must go. My son has just finished watching a video about some ninja-turtles and I’m sure he will desire to try out some new martial arts moves. And I feel like the luckiest guy on the planet because I happen to be the only animated target he can practice on. And I’ve got a few moves myself!
Last Stop: One of the sports my girls play is ringette. It is a hockey-like game and it is played primarily by girls. Mike O’Shea, a
